Vol 04 · 10 franchises · “Michelle Obama has a dick”
2025 Season
The year CadeZerr took the belt. tonyczajka made the final and has been explaining what went wrong ever since.
Tony Loses Another Final, Because Of Course He Does
Cade Zerr spent three seasons as roster filler, then woke up, dropped 1,856 points, went 89–37 in all-play, took four weekly crowns, and beat Tony 155.28–134.72 in the Finals. That's two Finals and zero rings for a man who has now scored more, won more, and cried more than anybody in league history. The defending champ tyadams celebrated his title by going 5–9 and spending a first-rounder on Malik Nabers (57.1 points) and a third on Alvin Kamara (29.7), a draft so catastrophically bad it should be preserved in a museum as a warning to children.
Final Table
| # | Manager | Record | PF | PA | Result |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1 |  tonyczajka | 10–4 | 1751.48 | 1572.66 | 🥈 Runner-up |
| 2 |  CadeZerr | 9–5 | 1856.28 | 1727.66 | 🏆 Champion |
| 3 | sammoore05 | 8–6 | 1707.16 | 1794.44 | playoffs |
| 4 |  Kebz | 7–7 | 1707.94 | 1669.14 | 🥉 Third |
| 5 |  Hornbucket69 | 7–7 | 1706.98 | 1567.42 | playoffs |
| 6 |  RyanAndrew88 | 7–7 | 1592.60 | 1652.30 | playoffs |
| 7 |  mattbohall | 6–8 | 1709.70 | 1696.64 | |
| 8 | carterbrown | 6–8 | 1561.08 | 1719.86 | |
| 9 |  kkissel2121 | 5–9 | 1583.46 | 1652.82 | |
| 10 | tyadams | 5–9 | 1521.08 | 1644.82 |
The Luck Index
Actual record vs all-play recordThe first column is the record that counted. The second is the all-play record — how each team would have done playing everybody every week. The gap is pure schedule luck, and some of these numbers should be investigated.
| Manager | Actual | All-Play | Luck | Verdict |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| tonyczajka | 10–4 | 73–53 | +1.9 | schedule was rigged for him |
| RyanAndrew88 | 7–7 | 51–75 | +1.3 | kissed by the algorithm |
| sammoore05 | 8–6 | 69–57 | +0.3 | clean |
| carterbrown | 6–8 | 54–72 | +0.0 | clean |
| Hornbucket69 | 7–7 | 64–62 | -0.1 | clean |
| kkissel2121 | 5–9 | 46–80 | -0.1 | clean |
| tyadams | 5–9 | 47–79 | -0.2 | clean |
| Kebz | 7–7 | 70–56 | -0.8 | unlucky |
| CadeZerr | 9–5 | 89–37 | -0.9 | unlucky |
| mattbohall | 6–8 | 67–59 | -1.4 | unlucky |
Games of the Year
Kings of the Week
Weekly top scores · regular season CadeZerr 👑 ×4 sammoore05 👑 ×3 Hornbucket69 👑 ×2 carterbrown 👑 ×1 RyanAndrew88 👑 ×1 kkissel2121 👑 ×1 tonyczajka 👑 ×1 Kebz 👑 ×1 Steals & Busts
Draft verdicts, with the benefit of hindsight- Caleb Williams QB Rd 14 · carterbrown 325.2
- Justin Herbert QB Rd 7 · RyanAndrew88 299.9
- Patrick Mahomes QB Rd 6 · Kebz 296.7
- George Pickens WR Rd 8 · carterbrown 291.9
- Chris Olave WR Rd 8 · CadeZerr 269.0
- Alvin Kamara RB Rd 3, pick 29 · tyadams 29.7
- Malik Nabers WR Rd 1, pick 9 · tyadams 57.1
- Bucky Irving RB Rd 3, pick 24 · Hornbucket69 138.5
- Brian Thomas WR Rd 2, pick 16 · carterbrown 138.8
- Brock Bowers TE Rd 2, pick 18 · kkissel2121 176.2
Points are what each player actually delivered to the team that drafted him. The full board lives in the 2025 draft.
Team MVPs
Each franchise's engine · points startedPlayer Theater
The individual performances of the yearDak Prescott , claimed off free agency in Week 5 by mattbohall — 247.8 points started the rest of the way.
Kebz left Kyle Pitts and his 45.6 points on the bench in Week 15. Got away with it, somehow.